1. A man needs to feel your respect in
order to love you the way you want to
be loved. Tell and show your man you
respect and admire him. Let him know
that you appreciate the things he does for
you. Remember, what you do and say
must be genuine.
2. Problem solving is your man’s way
of showing he cares . Men like to
problem solve. So when your man drives
you crazy telling you to do x, y and z in
certain situations that’s his way of taking
care of the problem and therefore taking
care of you. So don’t take it so
personally.
3. Show your man he’s needed. Leman
says showing your husband he’s needed is
almost an art form. It’s so easy and the
results are worth the effort. Leman gives
the example of when your hubby comes
home in the evening. You say to him,
“Honey I’m so glad you’re home. It’s
been a really stressful day but all I could
think about was coming home to you. I’m
so glad I married you.”
Then Leman says, “slip him the
commercial.” By that he means ask for
what you want. “After you relax would
you mind helping Cassie with her
homework while I finish up dinner. Then
she’ll get to bed on time and we can relax
a little together.”
Leman says this is great because 1. You
tell him you’re glad to see him. 2. You
ask for his help with a specific thing. 3.
You promised a reward—time with you.
According to Leman, your words take so
little time but they mean so much.
4. Sex with your husband is essential
to a lasting marriage. Leman says
sexual fulfillment affirms the very core of
who a man is—it affirms his masculinity.
It intensifies his drive to protect you, to
take care of you, to love you and to
provide for you. According to Leman, if
you are intimate with your husband, he
will seek no other (chronic cheaters do
not apply).
5. Give direct requests to your man .
You need to be direct when expressing
what you want, Leman says. Men don’t
get hints or subtlety. Be specific and
straightforward.
6. Reinforce good behavior. Leman says
when your man is doing something right,
reinforce it and tell him how much you
appreciate it. Brag about him in front of
your friends and family.
7. Stay concise. Too much yapping will
shut down your man’s attention, Leman
says. So keep it short and sweet.
Similarly, when you “nag” or yell, your
man doesn’t hear you. Actually Leman
says when you cry or scream your man
will shut down and think you’re cuckoo.
8. Your man wants to please you.
Leman urges women to remember this.
Men want to please and provide for their
woman and when they are unable to do
something right, Leman says that is akin
to someone telling a woman she’s fat
AND ugly. You would take it personally.
And they do too.
9. Tell your man once (or twice) what
needs to be done . He knows and he
remembers, says Leman, and he will get
to it on his own time without having to be
reminded 10 times. A great way to ask
your man to do something, without
coming off as “nagging,” is to write a
“Honey to do list,” Leman says. Try it out,
it may work for you.
10. Be selective while dating, but
accepting while married . Leman says,
date with your eyes wide open, but keep
them half closed after you’re married.
Ditto.
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