1. Friends and family
A massive part of your life is made up of
your friends and family and, like it or not,
the same goes for her. So, not getting
along with the other people who share
your partner’s life can push any
relationship to its breaking point. It’s
impossible to love everyone she knows,
but maintaining “friendly” relationships
with the closest people in her life (like
her sister and best friend) is important in
keeping your own relationship afloat.
The long-running disagreement over
politics with her father that has turned
serious, the fact that you and her best
friend can’t be in the same room… at
some point, she’ll have to choose, and
there’s no guarantee she’ll side with you.
2. Life stresses
Often, being part of a couple can put you
in a “bubble” that closes you off from the
rest of the world, giving you an us-
against-them mentality. However, when
the real world comes crashing into your
little bubble, things can go really wrong.
Issues like money problems, children
from previous relationships, and issues
carried over from past relationships, are
possible relationship killers that might
place strain on you. Even little domestic
issues (one person refusing to clean or
cook) can chip away at your coupledom.
3. Persistent suitors
A couple is, by definition, made up of two
people. Throw a third person into the mix
and things will start to go wrong. If
someone else if trying to get with you or
your other half, distrust and suspicion can
breed quite easily and can be a serious
relationship killer. The effect of this is
increased if the “other person” is a
lingering ex. If the issue should arise,
deal with it as quickly as possible. If
you’re the one with the admirer, simply
tell her you’re not interested; being
friendly with her could give her hope and
permission to stick around longer and toy
with your current relationship.
4. Annoying habits
We already know you can’t like everyone
all the time. Well, sometimes this counts
for your partner too. Everything about
her might be great, but if she has a few
annoying habits, be careful. Stupid and
trivial as these annoying habits might be
— like talking in her sleep, leaving the
cap off the toothpaste and wearing too
much makeup — they can be relationship
killers and wreck a couple.
Over time, these habits become
magnified until you’re angry with her
more often than not, and you’ve talked
yourself out of a relationship.
5. High comfort levels
After being together for a while, couples
tend to growcomfortable with each other
— way too comfortable. They become
more like friends than lovers as intimacy
becomes way too familiar and routine,
and they start to let things slide. Sex falls
off the agenda and, before they know it,
they’ve become the person stopping the
other one from dating someone else.
6. Different goals
Over time, if a couple isn’t careful, they
might begin to drift apart. This could be
due to a lack of communication as other
things, such as careers, become more
important, or it could be a symptom of a
relationship that just isn’t working.
If both people are chasing separate goals,
such as one wanting to put down roots
where they are and the other going after
a promotion which could involve
relocating, clearly their future is in
jeopardy. When this situation is left
unchecked, someone is eventually going
to have to choose between their
ambitions and their significant other.
7. The past
People who live in the past find it
impossible to move forward. If one of you
insists on comparing your new
relationship to previous ones, the future
doesn’t look good. While learning from
past mistakes is a good thing, treating
them as a blueprint for every other
relationship is not. What you have now is
different to anything you’ve had before,
so let it grow free from past screw-ups.
Likewise, dragging the past of this
relationship into the present is also
damaging. So what if one of you messed
up in the first few weeks? There’s no
point mentioning it in every
single argument. If a couple decides to
move on from a problem, they move on
and focus on the future; the past should
always be left in the past.
8. Moving too fast
Healthy relationships progress naturally.
While not always at the same speed, they
tend to move on as both people become
more and more comfortable with each
other. It’s an unspoken, instinctive thing.
However, some people seem to lack this
instinct and rush to make a blossoming
relationship into something it’s not ready
to be.
No one likes to be rushed. A couple that
sees one partner constantly pushing the
other to commit before they’re ready is a
couple that won’t last long. Especially
dangerous is the M-bomb. Once one
person is chasing a wedding the other
isn’t ready for, an otherwise successful
relationship is usually over.
9. Dependence/independence
Maintaining the right balance between
dependence and independence is tricky.
Too much of one and people feel
smothered. If a couple gets to the point
where they have nothing in their life
apart from each other, they need to back
away a little. Otherwise, one partner will
feel the need for space and resent the
other for taking their freedom away.
Conversely, if too much independence is
asserted, the other person starts to feel
lonely. If one partner has an all-absorbing
job or interest with nothing but the
minimum of time for their partner, things
are equally bad. While space and time
apart from each other is needed, too
much is as bad as smothering — both end
with someone looking elsewhere.
10. Cheating
Cheating is the ultimate relationship killer,
and one that the majority of couples
won’t survive. The initial betrayal of
finding out that a partner has cheated is
often enough to leave a couple stone-cold
dead while the bed sheets are still warm.
And even if a couple does try to work past
the cheating, the future doesn’t look
good for them. By now, all the trust in
the relationship has been blown. No
matter how much anyone promises there
will be no other indiscretions, both people
will expect the other to one day fall into
bed with someone else.
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